Harish Iyer

Writer, Activist, Speaker

  • Born: April 16, 1979
  • Birthplace: Barrackpore, West Bengal, India

Also Known As: Aham Iyer

Significance: Through his writing and activism, Harish Iyer has helped spread awareness about child sex abuse, gender-based violence, and LGBTQ+ issues. He is a motivational speaker and works with companies to promote more-inclusive work environments.

Background

Harish Iyer was born on April 16, 1979, in Barrackpore in West Bengal in eastern India. His uncle began sexually abusing him when he was seven years old. When Iyer was twelve years old, his uncle would invite other men to rape the young boy. The abuse lasted for eleven years until Iyer physically fought back against his uncle and told his mother about the abuse. During his teenage years, Iyer began to realize that he was gay but felt anxiety and shame that his sexuality may be a result of the abuse he suffered. He ultimately accepted that the two were not related. However, the abuse had instilled a fear of men that kept him from developing relationships, even friendships, for much of his youth.

Iyer attended the University of Mumbai in Maharashtra, India, where he completed a degree in botany and horticulture. Upon graduation, he continued his studies, earning degrees in advertising and marketing communication, applied medical science, and event management in his early twenties. He returned to school in his forties to study counselling and family therapy at Indira Gandhi National Open University in Delhi, India.

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Life’s Work

Iyer’s activism has involved raising awareness about child sexual abuse and promoting equal rights for LGBTQ+ people and others. While in college, he began publicly discussing the abuse he experienced. He decided to do so after a friend had shared the information with other classmates. Iyer first came out as gay to his mother when he was twenty-four years old. After these two developments, he became committed to serving both sexual abuse victims and the LGBTQ+ community with his activism.

Iyer’s experience inspired the 2010 short film Amen as well as one of the four films in the 2010 Hindi-language anthology collection I Am. In 2012, Iyer appeared on the popular talk show Satyamev Jayate where he shared his story with a national audience. The appearance helped Iyer gain attention and recognition.

In 2015, he began writing a regular column called “Sexolve” for the news website The Quint. In the column, Iyer discusses issues related to sex and relationships. That same year, Iyer attracted international headlines when he helped his mother place a newspaper ad in search of a potential husband for him. While the practice of parents placing ads in search of a spouse for their children is somewhat common in India, this effort marked the first time a parent placed an ad for a same-sex partner for their child. Several Indian newspapers, including the Times of India and the Hindustan Times, rejected the ad before the multi-language daily Mid-Day agreed to print the ad. In 2016, Iyer began to produce content for DNA, another Indian newspaper that had refused to publish his mother’s ad.

In 2017, he began hosting a radio show called Gaydio, the first radio programming in India devoted to LGBTQ+ content. The following year, he began hosting his own podcast called “The Harish Iyer Show.” He attends many public and private speaking engagements, including several appearances at TED conferences since 2015. He regularly attends events promoting LGBTQ+ causes, sometimes in drag or wearing other striking fashion.

Impact

Harish Iyer is one of India’s most well-known LGBTQ+ activists. He has risen to prominence during a time when attitudes toward LGBTQ+ people are changing throughout India. Same-sex relations were criminalized in India from 1861 until 2018. His activism helped Indians become more accepting and understanding. He has worked to promote non-discrimination legislation for LGBTQ+ people and other political causes. Further, he has continued to make advocacy for victims of childhood sexual abuse a focus of his work. He has been credited for helping bring attention to the often-overlooked experiences of male sexual abuse survivors.

Bibliography

Bisaria, Anjali. “Activist Harish Iyer Shares His Gutwrenching Story of Being Raped for 11 Years as a Kid.” India Times, 13 Jan. 2016. www.indiatimes.com/news/india/activist-harish-iyer-shares-his-gutwrenching-story-of-being-raped-for-11-years-as-a-kid-249359.html/. Accessed 5 July 2023.

Bhandari, Kabir Singh. “Coming Out Day: Activist Harish Iyer, Trans Body-Builder Aryan Tell Us Their Stories.” Hindustan Times, 11 Oct. 2017. www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/coming-out-day-activist-harish-iyer-trans-body-builder-aryan-tell-us-their-stories/story-YbxsCnGpKf4WyoSmVY132O.html/. Accessed 5 July 2023.

Borges, Andre. “This Guy’s Mom Wanted to Find Him a Husband, so He Placed India’s First Gay ‘Groom Wanted’ Ad.” Buzzfeed, 19 May 2015. www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/first-gay-matrimonial-groom-wanted-ad/. Accessed 5 July 2023.

Iyer, Harish. “The Burden of Hate.” TED, February 2020, www.ted.com/talks/harish‗iyer‗the‗burden‗of‗hate/. Accessed 5 July 2023.

Srivastava, Roli. “Love Is in the Air on India’s First LGBT Radio Show.” Reuters, 14 Aug. 2017. www.reuters.com/article/us-india-lgbt-radio/love-is-in-the-air-on-indias-first-lgbt-radio-show-idUSKCN1AU1K5/. Accessed 5 July 2023.