RESEARCH STARTER

Romantic addiction

Romantic addiction refers to the intense emotional and psychological attachment individuals can develop towards their romantic partners, which may lead to significant distress when relationships end. This phenomenon is characterized by symptoms that resemble those of substance addiction, such as compulsive thoughts about the ex-partner, emotional withdrawal, and a pervasive yearning to reconnect. Research indicates that the grief associated with heartbreak can mirror the withdrawal symptoms experienced by those overcoming substance use disorders, including anxiety, insomnia, and cravings for contact with the lost partner.

Neurologically, both romantic love and addiction activate similar brain pathways and chemical responses, particularly involving neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin. This overlap suggests that individuals coping with breakups may benefit from therapeutic approaches used in substance addiction recovery. Strategies such as psychoeducation about withdrawal symptoms and coping mechanisms, along with support through therapy or group discussions, can aid in navigating the emotional turmoil following a romantic loss. Understanding romantic addiction through this lens may provide valuable insights for those struggling to move on from a relationship, fostering healthier coping strategies and emotional healing.

Full Article

  • TYPE OF PSYCHOLOGY: Addiction; Biological bases of human behavior; Clinical; Counseling; Developmental; Family; Social

Heartbreak due to the dissolution of a romantic relationship and withdrawal from an addictive substance share many similar psychological and neurobiological symptoms. Increasing awareness regarding the similarities across both conditions and conceptualizing the process of getting over a romantic relationship from an addiction framework may be helpful from a treatment/recovery standpoint. Using an addiction model to understand the common thoughts, emotions, and behaviors individuals experiencing heartbreak have can promote consideration of strategies that have been shown to be effective in treating substance use conditions.

Introduction

The end of a romantic relationship, whether through a breakup or divorce, is a profoundly emotional but common occurrence. The majority of individuals experience the hurt of heartbreak at least once in their lifetime. Although grief is a key symptom following a breakup, a simple bereavement model of recovery from heartbreak may not address the myriad symptoms individuals experience when a relationship ends, particularly when the relationship is terminated by the other partner. An abundance of literature suggests that heartbreak can lead to a wide range of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Additionally, individuals suffering from the loss of a relationship may be at risk for using alcohol or drugs as a maladaptive coping behavior to help alleviate the pain. In fact, the process of trying to get over a former romantic partner can often look very similar to the process of individuals struggling to overcome a substance abuse disorder; research has found many neurological and psychological similarities between these two conditions. Romantic addiction is not recognized as a formal disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), but researchers continue to study it within behavioral addiction frameworks. Conceptualizing a person's struggle of getting over a romantic partner as recovery from an addiction can help integrate techniques that may not be utilized if this process is only viewed as bereavement.

Psychological Similarities between Romantic Relationships, Heartbreak, and Addiction

Two researchers, Burkett and Young, report that from “initial encounters to withdrawal,” love, heartbreak, and addiction share similar psychological features and symptoms. They describe the experience of love as leading to experiences of “exquisite euphoria, loss of control, loss of time, and a powerful motivation to seek out the partner,” and the experience of getting over a former partner as a withdrawal from an addiction. For example, the substance use disorder criterion, which states that individuals experience “a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use” and spend “a great deal of time… us[ing] the substance, or recover[ing] from its effects,” appears to capture the symptoms experienced by individuals suffering from heartbreak. A study conducted on participants struggling to get over their former partner found that participants reported routinely thinking about their ex-partner for a large portion of the day. In the same study, Fisher and colleagues also found that many participants reported yearning to reunite romantically with their ex-partner through inappropriate contact (i.e., phone, text, email, social media, in person), were unable to stop crying, and often drank excessively.

Research has found that people going through a breakup had made strenuous attempts to reunite with their ex-partner and reported extreme distress and preoccupation related to the ex-partner. The tendency for individuals to desperately attempt to reestablish the relationship post-breakup appears to parallel the common struggle individuals experience when they try to refrain from using a substance. In addition, the distress and preoccupation associated with the former partner are also analogous to the distress and preoccupation many individuals with substance use disorders report experiencing due to their addiction.

Symptoms such as insomnia, emotional distress, and anxiety have also been observed in individuals who experience heartbreak. For example, researchers found a high degree of similarity with regard to withdrawal symptoms between individuals with addictive behaviors and relationship loss. Additionally, separation anxiety, another condition that is triggered by separation from others, shares some emotional features such as sleep difficulty and anxiety. Although the separation anxiety and heartbreak following the dissolution of a romantic relationship are different, they are both triggered by the separation from a loved one and, as such, provide additional support that experiencing a breakup may lead to substance-like withdrawal symptoms.

Neurological Similarities between Romantic Relationships, Heartbreak, and Addiction

Romantic relationships and addictions also appear to share similar biochemical pathways. Romantic love also involves several systems in the brain, including those related to reward, attachment, and stress, rather than a single pathway. In their review article, Burkett and Young suggest that attachment, love, and addiction share commonalities in brain regions and neurochemical activity across conditions. More specifically, they found the following neurochemicals to be highly involved in both drug addiction and romantic relationship bonding: dopamine, opioids, oxytocin, corticotropin-releasing hormone, and arginine vasopressin. For example, corticotropin-releasing hormone is activated both during withdrawal from drugs of abuse and during separation from and/or the end of a relationship with a loved one. The presence of withdrawal symptoms in both substance disorders and breakups, and the finding that the same hormones are activated during both withdrawal processes, supports the concept that going through a breakup and suffering from an addiction share underlying commonalities.

Further support for the neurological similarities between addiction and romantic relationships comes from a study by Fisher and colleagues that assessed the brain activity of individuals who experienced the loss of a romantic relationship and reported difficulty in getting over a former partner. Their results found an increase in neural activity within specific brain areas (the nucleus accumbens and the orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex) when participants were presented with the picture of their former partner. These same brain regions are activated during periods of drug craving.

Clinical Implications

Conceptualizing romantic relationships as having similarities to addiction may provide important insights into overcoming the struggle of ending a relationship. Given the neurological and psychological commonalities shared by addictive behaviors and romantic relationships, it may be therapeutically beneficial to conceptualize the loss of a romantic relationship as withdrawal from a substance and guide treatment from this framework. While symptoms of depression, anxiety, and substance use are associated with relationship loss, the underlying processes that precipitate and maintain these symptoms may be attributed to both neurobiological and psychological factors that are remarkably similar to those associated with addiction.

Conceptualizing the process of “getting over an ex” as similar to the process of substance cessation may lead to treatment benefits for individuals who experience extreme distress and impairment in functioning. Clinicians may draw from strategies that have demonstrated efficacy in treating individuals suffering from substance use. Psychoeducation regarding common symptoms associated with addictive behaviors (e.g., withdrawal symptoms, unsuccessful attempts to control use [like not contacting the ex-partner], continued use despite awareness of negative consequences [like looking at pictures of the ex-partner or mentally reviewing past experiences with the ex-partner]) may be helpful during the initial phase of therapy. Framing lapses as both normal and to-be-expected can help individuals to accept these episodes without viewing them themselves as failures or personally weak may also be helpful. In addition, psychoeducation regarding urges and cravings to reach out to the ex-partner or to ruminate about them can outline specific coping strategies to use during times when urges become intense. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and attachment-based approaches can also help individuals manage strong emotions and reduce repeated thoughts about a former partner. Similarly, identifying and self-monitoring specific triggers, like past shared locations, foods, people, smells, and movies to be avoided has the benefit of promoting behavioral and emotional detachment, and thereby reducing personal suffering. Digital reminders, such as viewing an ex-partner’s social media, can also act as triggers and may increase emotional distress.

There are many coping mechanisms that can be used to heal after the end of a romantic relationship. Often, activities such as therapy, group discussion, or journaling help to process and work through the turbulent emotions one experiences after a breakup.

Future Directions

Though research supports the idea that ending romantic relationships and surviving the resulting heartbreak may have similarities to forms of behavioral addiction, the state of psychosocial research is, as yet, still working to determine whether these underlying similarities are true in all cases. Some researchers have developed tools such as the Love Addiction Inventory (2021) to measure patterns of emotional dependence in romantic relationships. Although relationships and breakups are not uniform, recognizing the similarities, when they exist, can help those suffering to suffer less and cope better. Some researchers also note that romantic love can be understood as a natural reward process rather than a disorder, especially when it does not interfere with daily functioning. Research highlights the shared psychological and neurological features of ending romantic relationships and addiction, and studies have shown that both heartbreak and addiction activate similar brain regions associated with reward, craving, and emotional distress.


Bibliography

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed., text rev., American Psychiatric Publishing, 2022.

“Can You Be Addicted to Love?” Cleveland Clinic, 6 Feb. 2026, health.clevelandclinic.org/addicted-to-love. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Durayappah, Adoree. “5 Scientific Reasons Why Breakups Are Devastating.” HuffPost, 17 Nov. 2011, www.huffingtonpost.com/adoree-durayappah-mapp-mba/breakups_b_825613.html. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Fisher, Helen E., et al. “Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 7, 10 May 2016, article 687, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Edwards, Scott. “Love and the Brain.” Harvard Medical School, Spring 2015, hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/love-brain. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Heussner, Ki Mae. “Addicted to Love? It's Not You, It's Your Brain.” ABC News, 8 July 2010, www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/addicted-love-brain/story?id=11110866. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Nealon, Dennis. “The Science of Love.” Harvard Medical School News, 10 Feb. 2025,
hms.harvard.edu/news/science-love. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Lachmann, Suzanne. “How to Mourn a Breakup to Move Past Grief and Withdrawal.” Psychology Today, 4 June 2013, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201306/how-mourn-breakup-move-past-grief-and-withdrawal. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Lewandowski, Gary W. “Breakups Aren't All Bad: Coping Strategies to Promote Positive Outcomes.” The Journal of Positive Psychology, vol. 4, no. 1, 2009, pp. 21–31, doi:10.1080/17439760802593466. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Luscombe, Belinda. “The Cruelest Study: Why Breakups Hurt.” TIME, 9 July 2010, time.com/archive/6934518/the-cruelest-study-why-breakups-hurt/. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Marshall, Tara C. “Facebook Surveillance of Former Romantic Partners: Associations with Postbreakup Recovery and Personal Growth.” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, vol. 15, no. 10, 2012, pp. 521–6, doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0125. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Singh, Maanvi. “Breaking Up is Hard to Do, but Science Can Help.” NPR, 13 Jan. 2015, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/01/13/376804930/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do-but-science-can-help. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Sussman, Steve. “Love Addiction: Definition, Etiology, Treatment.” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, vol. 17, no. 1, 2010, pp. 31–45, doi:10.1080/10720161003604095. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Full Article

  • TYPE OF PSYCHOLOGY: Addiction; Biological bases of human behavior; Clinical; Counseling; Developmental; Family; Social

Heartbreak due to the dissolution of a romantic relationship and withdrawal from an addictive substance share many similar psychological and neurobiological symptoms. Increasing awareness regarding the similarities across both conditions and conceptualizing the process of getting over a romantic relationship from an addiction framework may be helpful from a treatment/recovery standpoint. Using an addiction model to understand the common thoughts, emotions, and behaviors individuals experiencing heartbreak have can promote consideration of strategies that have been shown to be effective in treating substance use conditions.

Introduction

The end of a romantic relationship, whether through a breakup or divorce, is a profoundly emotional but common occurrence. The majority of individuals experience the hurt of heartbreak at least once in their lifetime. Although grief is a key symptom following a breakup, a simple bereavement model of recovery from heartbreak may not address the myriad symptoms individuals experience when a relationship ends, particularly when the relationship is terminated by the other partner. An abundance of literature suggests that heartbreak can lead to a wide range of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Additionally, individuals suffering from the loss of a relationship may be at risk for using alcohol or drugs as a maladaptive coping behavior to help alleviate the pain. In fact, the process of trying to get over a former romantic partner can often look very similar to the process of individuals struggling to overcome a substance abuse disorder; research has found many neurological and psychological similarities between these two conditions. Romantic addiction is not recognized as a formal disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), but researchers continue to study it within behavioral addiction frameworks. Conceptualizing a person's struggle of getting over a romantic partner as recovery from an addiction can help integrate techniques that may not be utilized if this process is only viewed as bereavement.

Psychological Similarities between Romantic Relationships, Heartbreak, and Addiction

Two researchers, Burkett and Young, report that from “initial encounters to withdrawal,” love, heartbreak, and addiction share similar psychological features and symptoms. They describe the experience of love as leading to experiences of “exquisite euphoria, loss of control, loss of time, and a powerful motivation to seek out the partner,” and the experience of getting over a former partner as a withdrawal from an addiction. For example, the substance use disorder criterion, which states that individuals experience “a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use” and spend “a great deal of time… us[ing] the substance, or recover[ing] from its effects,” appears to capture the symptoms experienced by individuals suffering from heartbreak. A study conducted on participants struggling to get over their former partner found that participants reported routinely thinking about their ex-partner for a large portion of the day. In the same study, Fisher and colleagues also found that many participants reported yearning to reunite romantically with their ex-partner through inappropriate contact (i.e., phone, text, email, social media, in person), were unable to stop crying, and often drank excessively.

Research has found that people going through a breakup had made strenuous attempts to reunite with their ex-partner and reported extreme distress and preoccupation related to the ex-partner. The tendency for individuals to desperately attempt to reestablish the relationship post-breakup appears to parallel the common struggle individuals experience when they try to refrain from using a substance. In addition, the distress and preoccupation associated with the former partner are also analogous to the distress and preoccupation many individuals with substance use disorders report experiencing due to their addiction.

Symptoms such as insomnia, emotional distress, and anxiety have also been observed in individuals who experience heartbreak. For example, researchers found a high degree of similarity with regard to withdrawal symptoms between individuals with addictive behaviors and relationship loss. Additionally, separation anxiety, another condition that is triggered by separation from others, shares some emotional features such as sleep difficulty and anxiety. Although the separation anxiety and heartbreak following the dissolution of a romantic relationship are different, they are both triggered by the separation from a loved one and, as such, provide additional support that experiencing a breakup may lead to substance-like withdrawal symptoms.

Neurological Similarities between Romantic Relationships, Heartbreak, and Addiction

Romantic relationships and addictions also appear to share similar biochemical pathways. Romantic love also involves several systems in the brain, including those related to reward, attachment, and stress, rather than a single pathway. In their review article, Burkett and Young suggest that attachment, love, and addiction share commonalities in brain regions and neurochemical activity across conditions. More specifically, they found the following neurochemicals to be highly involved in both drug addiction and romantic relationship bonding: dopamine, opioids, oxytocin, corticotropin-releasing hormone, and arginine vasopressin. For example, corticotropin-releasing hormone is activated both during withdrawal from drugs of abuse and during separation from and/or the end of a relationship with a loved one. The presence of withdrawal symptoms in both substance disorders and breakups, and the finding that the same hormones are activated during both withdrawal processes, supports the concept that going through a breakup and suffering from an addiction share underlying commonalities.

Further support for the neurological similarities between addiction and romantic relationships comes from a study by Fisher and colleagues that assessed the brain activity of individuals who experienced the loss of a romantic relationship and reported difficulty in getting over a former partner. Their results found an increase in neural activity within specific brain areas (the nucleus accumbens and the orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex) when participants were presented with the picture of their former partner. These same brain regions are activated during periods of drug craving.

Clinical Implications

Conceptualizing romantic relationships as having similarities to addiction may provide important insights into overcoming the struggle of ending a relationship. Given the neurological and psychological commonalities shared by addictive behaviors and romantic relationships, it may be therapeutically beneficial to conceptualize the loss of a romantic relationship as withdrawal from a substance and guide treatment from this framework. While symptoms of depression, anxiety, and substance use are associated with relationship loss, the underlying processes that precipitate and maintain these symptoms may be attributed to both neurobiological and psychological factors that are remarkably similar to those associated with addiction.

Conceptualizing the process of “getting over an ex” as similar to the process of substance cessation may lead to treatment benefits for individuals who experience extreme distress and impairment in functioning. Clinicians may draw from strategies that have demonstrated efficacy in treating individuals suffering from substance use. Psychoeducation regarding common symptoms associated with addictive behaviors (e.g., withdrawal symptoms, unsuccessful attempts to control use [like not contacting the ex-partner], continued use despite awareness of negative consequences [like looking at pictures of the ex-partner or mentally reviewing past experiences with the ex-partner]) may be helpful during the initial phase of therapy. Framing lapses as both normal and to-be-expected can help individuals to accept these episodes without viewing them themselves as failures or personally weak may also be helpful. In addition, psychoeducation regarding urges and cravings to reach out to the ex-partner or to ruminate about them can outline specific coping strategies to use during times when urges become intense. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and attachment-based approaches can also help individuals manage strong emotions and reduce repeated thoughts about a former partner. Similarly, identifying and self-monitoring specific triggers, like past shared locations, foods, people, smells, and movies to be avoided has the benefit of promoting behavioral and emotional detachment, and thereby reducing personal suffering. Digital reminders, such as viewing an ex-partner’s social media, can also act as triggers and may increase emotional distress.

There are many coping mechanisms that can be used to heal after the end of a romantic relationship. Often, activities such as therapy, group discussion, or journaling help to process and work through the turbulent emotions one experiences after a breakup.

Future Directions

Though research supports the idea that ending romantic relationships and surviving the resulting heartbreak may have similarities to forms of behavioral addiction, the state of psychosocial research is, as yet, still working to determine whether these underlying similarities are true in all cases. Some researchers have developed tools such as the Love Addiction Inventory (2021) to measure patterns of emotional dependence in romantic relationships. Although relationships and breakups are not uniform, recognizing the similarities, when they exist, can help those suffering to suffer less and cope better. Some researchers also note that romantic love can be understood as a natural reward process rather than a disorder, especially when it does not interfere with daily functioning. Research highlights the shared psychological and neurological features of ending romantic relationships and addiction, and studies have shown that both heartbreak and addiction activate similar brain regions associated with reward, craving, and emotional distress.


Bibliography

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed., text rev., American Psychiatric Publishing, 2022.

“Can You Be Addicted to Love?” Cleveland Clinic, 6 Feb. 2026, health.clevelandclinic.org/addicted-to-love. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Durayappah, Adoree. “5 Scientific Reasons Why Breakups Are Devastating.” HuffPost, 17 Nov. 2011, www.huffingtonpost.com/adoree-durayappah-mapp-mba/breakups_b_825613.html. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Fisher, Helen E., et al. “Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 7, 10 May 2016, article 687, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Edwards, Scott. “Love and the Brain.” Harvard Medical School, Spring 2015, hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/love-brain. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Heussner, Ki Mae. “Addicted to Love? It's Not You, It's Your Brain.” ABC News, 8 July 2010, www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/addicted-love-brain/story?id=11110866. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Nealon, Dennis. “The Science of Love.” Harvard Medical School News, 10 Feb. 2025,
hms.harvard.edu/news/science-love. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Lachmann, Suzanne. “How to Mourn a Breakup to Move Past Grief and Withdrawal.” Psychology Today, 4 June 2013, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201306/how-mourn-breakup-move-past-grief-and-withdrawal. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Lewandowski, Gary W. “Breakups Aren't All Bad: Coping Strategies to Promote Positive Outcomes.” The Journal of Positive Psychology, vol. 4, no. 1, 2009, pp. 21–31, doi:10.1080/17439760802593466. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Luscombe, Belinda. “The Cruelest Study: Why Breakups Hurt.” TIME, 9 July 2010, time.com/archive/6934518/the-cruelest-study-why-breakups-hurt/. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Marshall, Tara C. “Facebook Surveillance of Former Romantic Partners: Associations with Postbreakup Recovery and Personal Growth.” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, vol. 15, no. 10, 2012, pp. 521–6, doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0125. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Singh, Maanvi. “Breaking Up is Hard to Do, but Science Can Help.” NPR, 13 Jan. 2015, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/01/13/376804930/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do-but-science-can-help. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

Sussman, Steve. “Love Addiction: Definition, Etiology, Treatment.” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, vol. 17, no. 1, 2010, pp. 31–45, doi:10.1080/10720161003604095. Accessed 28 Mar. 2026.

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