The Oranging of America by Max Apple

First published: 1974

Type of plot: Satire

Time of work: The 1920's through the 1960's

Locale: Throughout the United States

Principal Characters:

  • Howard Johnson, founder of the motel and restaurant chain
  • Mildred "Millie" Bryce, his secretary
  • Otis Brighton, his chauffeur

The Story

The story opens with a historical retrospective of what Howard Johnson, his secretary, Mildred Bryce, and his chauffeur have been doing for the last forty years: traveling throughout the United States in a Cadillac limousine, visiting Howard Johnson's motels and restaurants and scouting out new sites for future facilities. They are continuing their long-time practice of tasting new ice cream from their tidy ice-cream freezer, in which there are always at least eighteen flavors. Howard eats only vanilla, and Millie rarely indulges in ice cream because of her recurring stomach problems. Their African American chauffeur, Otis Brighton, has become the primary taster for any new ice-cream flavors. In the back seat, Howard keeps an eye on the rearview mirror to observe Brighton's reaction to new flavors of ice cream. The itinerary they have followed for six months of each year has been determined by the bright orange dots on their travel map indicating existing Howard Johnson motels and restaurants and the white dots indicating future sites.

The first part of the story ends at the Los Angeles airport with Howard Johnson departing for New York City because his board of directors is planning new strategies for the company. Millie senses that their idyllic world may be coming to an end, but she is also experiencing greater pain from her bleeding ulcer.

Millie financed Howard Johnson's original investment from a $100,000 inheritance that her father left her when he committed suicide. She is thus the real power behind the throne and has grown immensely wealthy as a result. Howard Johnson has an almost mystical gift for locating prospective building sites: He often suddenly asks Otis to stop the car and then wanders into a field until he feels a secret vibration. Millie once had a similar experience, being inexorably drawn to a desolate spot in the Palestinian desert where she felt they must build a Howard Johnson's motel. Both Howard and Millie began to see themselves as pioneers rather than businesspersons.

The trio began their journey into the great American West as Howard suggested they turn right at Cairo. Twenty years later, Millie finds herself a wealthy woman living in a luxurious apartment building in Santa Monica, owned by bandleader Lawrence Welk. Although Millie is only fifty-six years old, she is beginning to feel that her life may be winding down toward death and looks into the possibility of being frozen and placed in a cryonic capsule rather than being buried in a cemetery. After she visits the Los Angeles Cryonic Society home office and views the resting places of several famous people, she decides to pay the necessary fees to preserve her body in a frozen state for eternity.

Howard Johnson returns from New York after four months. He has been named his company's chairman emeritus and has been given the job of traveling to Florida to sell homeowner franchises to the thousands of people moving there, to provide motels for the emerging giant called Disney World. Howard considers this the greatest challenge of his life—his inevitable confrontation with the king himself, Walt Disney. Millie decides that her health is too tenuous to embark on such a venture and worries that she would be too far from her cryonic cylinder. She and Howard muse over their accomplishments. They have transformed the drudgery of travel into a celebration of comfort, and Millie has changed the motel from a place people had to be into a place they wanted to be. The orange Howard Johnson signs that cover the nation have become a symbol of an Edenic oasis awaiting the exhausted traveler. Millie recalls the day she introduced Howard to the poet Robert Frost. It was sunset of that day, a few miles from Frost's home, that Millie recalls: "The feeling we had about that orange, Howard, that was ours, and that's what I've tried to bring to every house, the way we felt that night." Howard presents Millie with a specially designed, twelve-foot, orange cryonic U-Haul—her own personal crypt—attached to the limousine, so she will never be more than a few seconds from her own immortality. She changes her mind and decides to accompany Howard in his battle with the giant, Walt Disney.