The Whore of Mensa by Woody Allen
"The Whore of Mensa" is a comedic short story by Woody Allen that explores themes of intellect, desire, and identity through a satirical lens. The narrative follows Word Babcock, a man who feels unfulfilled in his marriage due to a lack of intellectual engagement with his wife. Seeking stimulation, he turns to a call-girl service offering female college students who can engage in intellectual discussions for a fee. The plot thickens when Babcock is blackmailed by Flossie, the madam of the service, who threatens to reveal compromising recordings of him. Private detective Lupowitz is hired to help Babcock navigate this predicament, leading him into a series of humorous encounters.
As Lupowitz investigates, he discovers that Flossie is actually a man who underwent a botched operation in an attempt to assume a literary persona. The story interweaves elements of parody, as it critiques both intellectual pretensions and societal norms surrounding relationships and sexuality. Ultimately, "The Whore of Mensa" presents a blend of wit and absurdity, highlighting the complexities of human connections in a modern context. This work exemplifies Allen's distinctive style, marked by sharp dialogue and a playful examination of serious themes.
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The Whore of Mensa by Woody Allen
First published: 1974
Type of plot: Parody
Time of work: The 1970's
Locale: New York
Principal Characters:
Kaiser Lupowitz , a private detectiveWord Babcock , his client, a blackmail victimFlossie , the blackmailerSherry , the title character, a prostitute of the mind
The Story
Kaiser Lupowitz, a New York private detective, is hired by Word Babcock to thwart a blackmail scheme. Babcock, who builds and services joy buzzers, considers himself an intellectual but does not find his wife intellectually stimulating: "She won't discuss Pound with me. Or Eliot. I didn't know that when I married her." He hears about a call-girl service providing female college students who will discuss intellectual matters for a fee, and he becomes a regular customer. Flossie, the madam, wants ten thousand dollars, or else she will turn over to his wife tapes of his "discussing The Waste Land and Styles of Radical Will, and, well, really getting into some issues" with a girl in a motel room. Babcock needs help because his wife "would die if she knew she didn't turn me on up here."
Lupowitz calls Flossie, who sends him Sherry to discuss the works of Herman Melville in a room at the Plaza. After some pseudointellectual banter, Lupowitz threatens to have Sherry arrested unless she tells him where to find Flossie. Sherry begins to cry, saying that she has reached her current state because she needs the money to complete her master's degree: "I've been turned down for a grant. Twice."
Sherry sends Lupowitz to the Hunter College Book Store, a front for Flossie's operation. The detective discovers that Flossie is really a man. Flossie explains that he wanted to take over The New York Review of Books and went to Mexico for an operation that was supposed to make him look like Lionel Trilling: "Something went wrong. I came out looking like Auden, with Mary McCarthy's voice. That's when I started working the other side of the law."
Lupowitz disarms Flossie before the male madam can shoot him. Taking him to the police, Lupowitz learns that the FBI is after Flossie: "A little matter involving some gamblers and an annotated copy of Dante's Inferno."