RESEARCH STARTER
Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief refers to the emotional pain and sorrow experienced when a loved one is dying or when death is imminent. This type of grief often mirrors the conventional grieving process, encompassing feelings such as denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Individuals may also face symptoms like appetite loss, sleep disturbances, and profound loneliness, as they come to terms with the impending loss. Notably, experiencing anticipatory grief does not lessen the intensity of grief felt after the loved one has passed; both forms can coexist and contribute to a person's overall emotional state.
The grieving process before a death can trigger a mix of emotions, including guilt, anxiety, and fears about the future without the loved one. While some individuals find that anticipatory grief allows them to achieve a sense of closure, others may still struggle with deep sorrow after the death occurs. Various coping strategies exist to manage anticipatory grief, such as engaging in open conversations with the dying individual, practicing forgiveness, and maintaining a sense of humor to aid healing. Seeking support from a grief counselor may be beneficial for those experiencing overwhelming emotions that impede daily life.
Authored By: Biscontini, Tyler 1 of 3
Published In: 2024 2 of 3
- Related Articles:"You're on a Rollercoaster, Just Hold On": The Lived Experience of the Dyad Following a Fetal Death.;A midwife's reflective writing in lactation and grief.;Associations Between Anticipatory Grief and Post-Bereavement Depression and Post-Loss Grief of Family Members of Dying Patients With Cancer in Palliative Care Units: A Cohort Study.;Navigating Loss: An In-Depth Exploration of Grief and Spiritual Resilience in Hispanic and Latino Cultures.;Pre-death grief: support for families facing bereavement: Grief can begin long before death, as with terminal illnesses such as cancer or dementia. Advice on how to provide support for patients and families before the end of life.
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Full Article
Anticipatory grief is a type of grief that happens before an expected loss, often when a loved one is dying. It can also occur in situations where a person expects other major losses, such as changes in health, relationships, or daily life. During the process of anticipatory grief, people suffer a series of negative emotions that resemble conventional grief. They may experience emotions similar to those seen in conventional grief, though these do not follow a fixed pattern. They may also experience loss of appetite, sleep issues, intense loneliness, fear about what lies ahead, and difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
Engaging in anticipatory grief does not always reduce the pain associated with conventional grief. Individuals who suffer from anticipatory grief will still mourn the death of their loved one after they have passed. However, every grieving process is unique, and some individuals who suffer from anticipatory grief report a feeling of closure.
Experts recommend several strategies for dealing with the symptoms of anticipatory grief. They recommend taking the time to talk to the person who is dying and practicing forgiveness. They recommend maintaining a sense of humor as much as possible to facilitate healing. If symptoms become extreme enough to interfere with daily life, it may be helpful for the individual to visit a grief counselor. Support may include individual counseling or group therapy, depending on the person’s needs.
Background
Most people are familiar with traditional concepts of grief. In this context, grief refers to the feelings of pain, loneliness, and deep sorrow commonly caused by the death of a loved one. In most cultures, feelings of grief are expected after death, and those who are grieving are given time to recover and come to terms with their loss. The concept of anticipatory grief was first described by psychiatrist Erich Lindemann in the mid-twentieth century.
Everyone grieves differently and may experience various symptoms when grieving. However, many of the feelings that are commonly experienced by individuals going through the grieving process are sometimes described using stages, though not everyone experiences them in the same order. First, upon hearing the news that a loved one has passed, it is normal to experience feelings of denial. Individuals experiencing denial may not want to admit that the death has occurred or may feel a strong sensation of numbness. These experiences are a psychological defense mechanism that serves to protect people against sudden onsets of extremely intense emotion. After the grieving individual accepts reality, they may feel intense anger. This anger might be directed at anyone associated with the death, at the person who died, or at no one at all.
Once feelings of anger begin to fade, it is normal to begin to dwell on anything that might have been done to prevent the loss of life. Individuals experiencing this may wonder what they could have done to save their loved one or may attempt to bargain with a higher power. After attempts at bargaining are unsuccessful, feelings of deep sadness may set in. During this period, it is common for individuals to feel depressed, cry, have decreased appetites, or experience sleep issues.
After the feelings of depression subside, individuals suffering from grief come to accept their loss. They begin to realize that the past cannot be changed and that their loved one cannot be brought back. Although they may still feel sad, they begin to move on with their lives.
Overview
In some circumstances, the process of grieving begins before the death of the loved one in question. Sometimes, the grieving process can begin as soon as someone realizes that the death of a loved one is a possibility. However, it is more common when someone realizes that a loved one is dying or is potentially going to die. Experts do not all agree on a single definition of anticipatory grief, and it may be understood in different ways.
Individuals expecting the death of a loved one may experience many of the symptoms of grieving before the loved one has died. These symptoms may be just as strong as the symptoms associated with traditional grief and may have a profound or debilitating effect on the individual’s life.
In addition to the symptoms commonly associated with conventional grief, anticipatory grief may cause many other negative emotions. The person experiencing anticipatory grief may be angrier than usual. This is often because they have more time to anticipate the loss but may still be unable to prevent it. The person may experience additional feelings of hopelessness or helplessness due to being unable to prevent the death of the loved one. They may fear the loss of a companion, mourn any dreams they had of including the person who is dying in their future, and worry about any financial hardships that will occur from their loved one’s passing. They may also feel guilt, anxiety, and loneliness. These individuals often have an intense desire to talk about their feelings as well.
Although many individuals may experience a range of grief-related emotions during anticipatory grieving, this does not necessarily replace the grieving process after their loved one’s passing. In many cases, anticipatory grieving may or may not alleviate the conventional grief that occurs after a death. However, every individual grieves differently, and one person’s experience may not mirror another’s. Some people do not experience anticipatory grief at all, while others find it does provide a form of closure.
Many coping strategies can be used to help mitigate anticipatory grief. Many people turn to spirituality, contacting their religious leaders for comfort and guidance. In addition to such actions, it is important to practice forgiveness during such a difficult time. It might help to resolve any differences with the person who is dying, forgiving each other for any past wrongdoings. This can reduce resentment and feelings of regret after the person has passed by ensuring that all nagging issues have been dealt with.
Experts also recommend maintaining a sense of humor during anticipatory grief. They advise that in many ways, humor can facilitate long-term healing. It can also defuse tension and help strengthen existing relationships. If the anticipatory grief is powerful enough that it interferes with daily life, it may be helpful for the individual to speak with a therapist who is trained in handling issues of grief.
Bibliography
Dryden-Edwards, Roxanne. “Grief and Mourning.” MedicineNet, www.medicinenet.com/loss_grief_and_bereavement/article.htm. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Eldridge, Lynne. “Why You May Feel Anticipatory Grief Before Loss Happens.” Verywell Health, 12 Mar. 2026, www.verywellhealth.com/coping-with-anticipatory-grief-2248856. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Eldridge, Lynne. “What is Anticipatory Grief?” Verywell Health, 24 Mar. 2026, www.verywellhealth.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief-and-symptoms-2248855. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Graham-Wisener, Lisa, and Audrey Roulston. “Not All Mourning Happens After Bereavement – For Some, Grief Can Start Years Before the Death of a Loved One.” The Conversation, 22 Feb. 2024, theconversation.com/not-all-mourning-happens-after-bereavement-for-some-grief-can-start-years-before-the-death-of-a-loved-one-221629. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
“Grieving and Stages of Grief.” WebMD, 10 July 2025, www.webmd.com/balance/normal-grieving-and-stages-of-grief. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Hodgson, Harriet. “Why is Anticipatory Grief So Powerful?” The Caregiver Space, 16 Apr. 2015, thecaregiverspace.org/anticipatory-grief-powerful. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Lindemann, Erich. “Symptomatology and Management of Acute Grief.” The American Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 101, no. 2, 1944, pp. 141–8. doi:10.1176/ajp.101.2.141. Accessed 2 Apr. 2026.
McFadden, Julie. Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully. TarcherPerigee, 2024.
Williams, Litsa. “Grieving Before a Death: Understanding Anticipatory Grief.” What’s Your Grief, 30 Sept. 2013, whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Wood, Jade. “Grief.” GoodTherapy, 5 Nov. 2019, www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/grief. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Full Article
Anticipatory grief is a type of grief that happens before an expected loss, often when a loved one is dying. It can also occur in situations where a person expects other major losses, such as changes in health, relationships, or daily life. During the process of anticipatory grief, people suffer a series of negative emotions that resemble conventional grief. They may experience emotions similar to those seen in conventional grief, though these do not follow a fixed pattern. They may also experience loss of appetite, sleep issues, intense loneliness, fear about what lies ahead, and difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
Engaging in anticipatory grief does not always reduce the pain associated with conventional grief. Individuals who suffer from anticipatory grief will still mourn the death of their loved one after they have passed. However, every grieving process is unique, and some individuals who suffer from anticipatory grief report a feeling of closure.
Experts recommend several strategies for dealing with the symptoms of anticipatory grief. They recommend taking the time to talk to the person who is dying and practicing forgiveness. They recommend maintaining a sense of humor as much as possible to facilitate healing. If symptoms become extreme enough to interfere with daily life, it may be helpful for the individual to visit a grief counselor. Support may include individual counseling or group therapy, depending on the person’s needs.
Background
Most people are familiar with traditional concepts of grief. In this context, grief refers to the feelings of pain, loneliness, and deep sorrow commonly caused by the death of a loved one. In most cultures, feelings of grief are expected after death, and those who are grieving are given time to recover and come to terms with their loss. The concept of anticipatory grief was first described by psychiatrist Erich Lindemann in the mid-twentieth century.
Everyone grieves differently and may experience various symptoms when grieving. However, many of the feelings that are commonly experienced by individuals going through the grieving process are sometimes described using stages, though not everyone experiences them in the same order. First, upon hearing the news that a loved one has passed, it is normal to experience feelings of denial. Individuals experiencing denial may not want to admit that the death has occurred or may feel a strong sensation of numbness. These experiences are a psychological defense mechanism that serves to protect people against sudden onsets of extremely intense emotion. After the grieving individual accepts reality, they may feel intense anger. This anger might be directed at anyone associated with the death, at the person who died, or at no one at all.
Once feelings of anger begin to fade, it is normal to begin to dwell on anything that might have been done to prevent the loss of life. Individuals experiencing this may wonder what they could have done to save their loved one or may attempt to bargain with a higher power. After attempts at bargaining are unsuccessful, feelings of deep sadness may set in. During this period, it is common for individuals to feel depressed, cry, have decreased appetites, or experience sleep issues.
After the feelings of depression subside, individuals suffering from grief come to accept their loss. They begin to realize that the past cannot be changed and that their loved one cannot be brought back. Although they may still feel sad, they begin to move on with their lives.
Overview
In some circumstances, the process of grieving begins before the death of the loved one in question. Sometimes, the grieving process can begin as soon as someone realizes that the death of a loved one is a possibility. However, it is more common when someone realizes that a loved one is dying or is potentially going to die. Experts do not all agree on a single definition of anticipatory grief, and it may be understood in different ways.
Individuals expecting the death of a loved one may experience many of the symptoms of grieving before the loved one has died. These symptoms may be just as strong as the symptoms associated with traditional grief and may have a profound or debilitating effect on the individual’s life.
In addition to the symptoms commonly associated with conventional grief, anticipatory grief may cause many other negative emotions. The person experiencing anticipatory grief may be angrier than usual. This is often because they have more time to anticipate the loss but may still be unable to prevent it. The person may experience additional feelings of hopelessness or helplessness due to being unable to prevent the death of the loved one. They may fear the loss of a companion, mourn any dreams they had of including the person who is dying in their future, and worry about any financial hardships that will occur from their loved one’s passing. They may also feel guilt, anxiety, and loneliness. These individuals often have an intense desire to talk about their feelings as well.
Although many individuals may experience a range of grief-related emotions during anticipatory grieving, this does not necessarily replace the grieving process after their loved one’s passing. In many cases, anticipatory grieving may or may not alleviate the conventional grief that occurs after a death. However, every individual grieves differently, and one person’s experience may not mirror another’s. Some people do not experience anticipatory grief at all, while others find it does provide a form of closure.
Many coping strategies can be used to help mitigate anticipatory grief. Many people turn to spirituality, contacting their religious leaders for comfort and guidance. In addition to such actions, it is important to practice forgiveness during such a difficult time. It might help to resolve any differences with the person who is dying, forgiving each other for any past wrongdoings. This can reduce resentment and feelings of regret after the person has passed by ensuring that all nagging issues have been dealt with.
Experts also recommend maintaining a sense of humor during anticipatory grief. They advise that in many ways, humor can facilitate long-term healing. It can also defuse tension and help strengthen existing relationships. If the anticipatory grief is powerful enough that it interferes with daily life, it may be helpful for the individual to speak with a therapist who is trained in handling issues of grief.
Bibliography
Dryden-Edwards, Roxanne. “Grief and Mourning.” MedicineNet, www.medicinenet.com/loss_grief_and_bereavement/article.htm. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Eldridge, Lynne. “Why You May Feel Anticipatory Grief Before Loss Happens.” Verywell Health, 12 Mar. 2026, www.verywellhealth.com/coping-with-anticipatory-grief-2248856. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Eldridge, Lynne. “What is Anticipatory Grief?” Verywell Health, 24 Mar. 2026, www.verywellhealth.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief-and-symptoms-2248855. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Graham-Wisener, Lisa, and Audrey Roulston. “Not All Mourning Happens After Bereavement – For Some, Grief Can Start Years Before the Death of a Loved One.” The Conversation, 22 Feb. 2024, theconversation.com/not-all-mourning-happens-after-bereavement-for-some-grief-can-start-years-before-the-death-of-a-loved-one-221629. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
“Grieving and Stages of Grief.” WebMD, 10 July 2025, www.webmd.com/balance/normal-grieving-and-stages-of-grief. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Hodgson, Harriet. “Why is Anticipatory Grief So Powerful?” The Caregiver Space, 16 Apr. 2015, thecaregiverspace.org/anticipatory-grief-powerful. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Lindemann, Erich. “Symptomatology and Management of Acute Grief.” The American Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 101, no. 2, 1944, pp. 141–8. doi:10.1176/ajp.101.2.141. Accessed 2 Apr. 2026.
McFadden, Julie. Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully. TarcherPerigee, 2024.
Williams, Litsa. “Grieving Before a Death: Understanding Anticipatory Grief.” What’s Your Grief, 30 Sept. 2013, whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
Wood, Jade. “Grief.” GoodTherapy, 5 Nov. 2019, www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/grief. Accessed 1 Apr. 2026.
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