Long-distance relationship

A long-distance relationship is a friendship or romantic relationship between two individuals who live in different locations. A long-distance relationship is sometimes referred to as an LDR. Those involved in long-distance relationships do not often have physical contact with one another. They are common among college students, military couples, and professionals moving for job opportunities.

Background

Long-distance relationships are like geographically close relationships in many ways, but they do come with a number of characteristics that are unique to maintaining contact and intimacy while apart. All relationships are challenging, but the lack of regular physical contact and face-to-face interaction make long-distance relationships particularly challenging. Some other common problems are difficulty in judging the state of a relationship because of distance, financial burdens in maintaining relationships, difficulty maintaining friendships because of a romantic long-distance relationship, and expectations for quality meetings when individuals are physically together.

Long-distance relationships are fairly common among US couples and those abroad. There are many factors that can keep a couple geographically apart, but technology and the range of devices and apps available facilitate the continuation of these relationships. Cell phones, social media, and video chat have made it easier to keep in touch with a romantic partner. Social media has helped long-distance couples remain in contact with one another, and it also helps to emulate positive relationship techniques such as openness, assurances, networking, and conflict management.

Overview

Despite the difficulties inherent in long-distance relationships, studies have shown that healthy, long-term relationships between couples that live apart are possible. They have also found that long-distance relationships can be as healthy and fulfilling as geographically close couples. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication found that long-distance relationships foster as much, if not more, intimacy than other relationships. The researchers polled sixty-three heterosexual couples to collect data. They found that while couples apart may communicate less than other couples, those communications are more self-revelatory and can have more importance than communication in other couples. It found that verbal understanding became more important, while practical help and "being there" became more important in geographically close relationships.

Another study completed in 2013 found relatively few differences between couples living far away and those living close together. This study also took responses from 474 women and 243 men in long-distance relationships, as well as 314 women and 111 men in geographically close relationships. The results showed that both kinds of couples were doing well in their relationships, regardless of proximity. This study also found that the longer the distance, the more effective the couple was at communicating deeper thoughts and emotions. While each has downsides and benefits (for example, long-distance couples tend to be better at discussing their sexual relationship, while couples who are closer get to have a significantly more active sexual relationship) the researchers came to the conclusion that the pros and cons evened themselves out.

The researchers also noticed that distance changed the way couples interact with one another. All relationships require maintenance and the strengthening of a relationship through actions. Many in long-distance relationships have to be extra vigilant in their maintenance in order to continue their relationship. Some areas that require extra work are in commitment and assurances of that commitment, openness regarding feelings, and maintaining consistent positive interactions as much as possible.

Researchers have studied how daters' attitudes toward long-distance dating changed during the COVID-19 pandemic in the 2020s. According to Match's 2023 Singles in America Study, 53 percent of more than 5,000 US singles surveyed said that they would consider starting a relationship with someone who lived more than three hours away, compared to 35 percent in 2021, about one year into the pandemic.

There is often a large difference between military-related long-distance relationships and civilian long-distance relationships. With thousands of members of the US military deployed, these types of relationships tend to add more stress on both partners. Regular long-distance relationships tend to include more communication between significant others, while the communication between military personnel and their partners might be censored or regulated.

The nature of a military relationship is also different because the partner in the military often puts (or is forced to put) their military duty above all else. Many military relationships are marriages; it is fairly traditional within the military to marry young or to marry before deployment. The partner remaining at home might feel lonely, unsure about the level of commitment in the relationship, and worried about their partner within a combat zone. Some of the emotions a partner at home might face include anxiety, anger, depression, and loss. Many civilian partners must learn methods of coping, such as sharing concerns about the relationship, in order to make it a successful one. Therapy and a support system are recommended for the partner at home, as well as for when the military partner returns.

Though fewer studies have been conducted on non-romantic long-distance relationships, surveys led by the American Friendship Project in the 2020s estimated that around 40 percent of Americans had friends that lived outside of the respondents' town or city. Similar to romantic relationships, long-distance friendships benefit from regular communication through video chats, texting, and voice calls. 

Bibliography

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